By Captain Mike Nowak, the salty (freshwater only) skipper of AmbitiousCharters.com
Ahoy, wannabe captains of Grand Traverse Bay!
Let’s talk about a subject near and dear to my sunscreen-slathered heart: boating etiquette. Yes, etiquette. Not the kind where you put your napkin on your lap and pretend to know which fork is for salad. I’m talking real boating etiquette—the unwritten (and often unobserved) rules that keep Grand Traverse Bay from turning into a floating demolition derby.
Whether you’re piloting a pontoon full of flamingo floaties or pretending your bowrider is a battleship, you need to know how to share the water without annoying everyone within a nautical mile. And don’t worry—I’m here to help, with the guidance of SavvySkipper.com for the book learnin’ and AmbitiousCharters.com for the real-life “don’t-do-that-you-idiot” moments.
Rule #1: No Wakes in No Wake Zones (Seriously, It’s in the Name)
Let’s start with the basics. If you see a sign that says No Wake Zone, that does not mean “reduce your speed from full send to medium send.” It means slow down to a crawl—like grandma in a Buick looking for a parking spot.
Those zones are there for a reason: marinas, swimmers, moored boats, and fragile docks don’t appreciate your personal tsunami. It’s not just rude—it’s dangerous and illegal. If you’re not sure how to identify a no-wake zone, it’s simple: look for the angry guy waving a fishing rod at you. Or better yet, take a course over at SavvySkipper.com—they’ll teach you the difference between cruising and being a menace.
Rule #2: Starboard, Port, and the “Oh Crap, Who Goes First?” Dance
Here’s a quick refresher on boating etiquette and navigation rules (a.k.a. “COLREGS,” which sounds like a bad skin condition but is actually pretty important):
- When two boats are crossing paths, the vessel on the right (starboard) has the right of way. If someone’s on your right, you yield.
- If you’re overtaking another boat, you’re the one responsible for avoiding them—not the other way around. Don’t buzz them like you’re Maverick in Top Gun.
- Head-on? Both turn starboard. It’s the boating version of the awkward hallway sidestep. Just wave, smile, and try not to panic.
If you’re unsure, slow down. Uncertainty + speed = a really expensive insurance claim.
Rule #3: Anchoring Ain’t a Free-for-All
Yes, Grand Traverse Bay is beautiful. Yes, you can drop anchor and float the day away with your waterproof speaker blaring Jimmy Buffett (RIP, legend). But boating etiquette says you need to be mindful of where—and how—you anchor.
- Don’t anchor in channels. That’s like parking your camper in the middle of a highway.
- Give other boats plenty of space. Swing radius is real, folks. If your anchor line is 100 feet, don’t drop it 50 feet from someone else’s boat unless you want to cuddle later when the wind shifts.
- Use a proper anchor and scope. That means 7:1 ratio for line length to depth in most conditions. You can look that up or call me at AmbitiousCharters.com, where I’ll be happy to explain it over a beverage.
Rule #4: Be Nice to the Dock
Docking a boat is hard. I get it. But that doesn’t mean you get to smash into the dock like you’re trying to beach a whale.
Here’s a tip: go slow, and use your fenders. Fenders are those sausage-shaped bumpers you forgot to deploy that prevent you from turning your hull into driftwood. And for the love of Poseidon, have your lines ready before you come in.
If your first mate thinks “spring line” is a new cocktail, consider checking out a SavvySkipper.com docking tutorial or—better yet—take a ride with me, Captain Mike Nowak, for some live-action training (with colorful commentary included).
Rule #5: Mind Your Tunes, Trash, and Toilet
I’m not saying your music taste is bad, but if your boat speakers can be heard from the other side of Power Island, you’re doing it wrong. Keep the volume at “vibe” not “rage festival.” And please, don’t leave your beer cans, chip bags, or other waste (you know the stuff) in the water.
Most marinas have pump-out stations. Use them. If your idea of “marine sanitation” is “open the valve and hope no one’s watching,” you are a disgrace to your captain’s hat and should be shamed publicly at the next dock party.
Final Thoughts from Captain Mike
Look, boating etiquette isn’t just about rules—it’s about respect. For the water, for your fellow boaters, and for your own pride when you finally master docking without screaming at your spouse.
If you want to sharpen your skills and stop being that guy, head over to SavvySkipper.com for real captain’s training. Or book a trip with me at AmbitiousCharters.com, where we combine boating brilliance with lakefront laughter.
And remember—if you see a boat cruising Grand Traverse Bay with impeccable manners, a perfectly trimmed wake, and a cooler full of legal beverages—that’s probably me. Or someone who read this blog.
Stay safe, stay courteous, and don’t sink your boat.
—
Captain Mike Nowak
Charter Captain. Water Safety Evangelist. Dockside Philosopher.
AmbitiousCharters.com | SavvySkipper.com